Got questions? We gots the answers below!
Main > Frequently Asked Questions
Why should I apply to the Twitter Budgie Network?
- It enhances your entire life. Customers have reported coffee tastes
fresher, children decrease their mis-behavior, and property taxes decline.
- It's Free AND Cute. Why pay for expensive unattractive
technical support when you can get such an adorable alternative?
- It delivers to you previously unimaginable social Twitter cache.
Be the first in your network to benefit from Twitter Budgie; your
colleagues will be envious in the extreme.
What do the Twitter Budgies eat? They do eat, right?
'Course they eat; photo-synthesizing takes 'way too much time! Twitter Budgies adore broccoli, Macaw-sized Nutri-berries, fresh bread, chicken and stray magazine covers. Oh yes, and apples. Can't forget the apples!
How can Barbara Ling and Owlbert offer this service for free?
We believe that all computer interactions should be painfree and deliver unimaginable soul-searing joy. To offset any incurred costs, the Twitter Budgie Network carefully analyzes your computer usage habits and delivers tastefully sublime (donate now!) online advertisements (donate now!) only whenever you move the mouse either in an UP or DOWN (donate now!) motion.
How does the Twitter Budgie resolve the 140 character limitation?
Very easily. When the 140 character limitation is encountered, the Twitter Budgie rapidly prints out your huge message, tucks it into a FedEx mailer, jumps back into the Budgie Transporter Mobile, simultaneously clones itself to however many people are following you on Twitter, and then beak-delivers the message to that person. Once all the messages have been delivered, the alternative-universes Twitter Budgies merge back into the original Twitter Budgie and return home.
Golly, that sounds very effective! Is that how the Twitter Budgie solves ALL the limitations?
Yes indeed! You see, the Twitter Budgies have all obtained a PhD in Quantum Mechanics from either:
- Princeton University
- Oxford University
- Harvard University
and have mastered the art of migrating into different time-space continuums at a moment's notice. As you can imagine, it comes in quite handy.
Princeton, you don't say! What were their SAT scores?
Off the charts, of course. What a silly question!
What's the Twitter Budgie standing on below?
A VPI Scoutmaster turntable, of course. Now, as I was saying...
Turntable? What's that?
A turntable is a device that is used to play records. Now, back to the ...
Records? I've heard of those things! They're round just like CDs!
Thrilling! Thanks! Anyways, the Twitter Budgies...
They're bigger, though. How do people get records into the drives? Do they fold them?
Yes, that's exactly what they do. Now, the Twitter Budgies...
My dad likes records, you know.
So does my husband. We have a whole spiffy sound system built upon VPI and other great thingees in our abode! 'Matter of fact, I remember when we bought our house and we had to research the high end audio and ....
Weren't you telling me about Twitter Budgies?
Hold your horses! Anywhos, there's some super resources online for home theaters and high end audio like Home Theater Magazine and Audio Gen Forum and Audio Annex and....ummmm, hmmmm, I think I drifted a wee bit off-topic. Anywhos, back to ....
It's a book.
The picture below. It's a book.
Yes, it's a book. The Gutenberg Bible, to be precise.
The caption says "iPhone." It doesn't say "book.".
Well yes, it DOES say "iPhone", as the rant is ABOUT the iPhone, but do you see the page?
Those lined rule thingees as the background? The open pages of the book????
What about them?
The rant was about iPhone PAGING. Get it? PAGING? As in, pages?
Oh, I see now. Why didn't you include that in the caption?
I thought it was obvious.
Can I get back to my FAQ please?
One more question, okay?
Why did I know you'd say that?
What's with the coffee cup in
What do you mean?
The picture on the cup is off to the side.
Oh. Yes. That.
Well you see, that's an Owlbert cup that's available from Cafe Press (lots of other designs are there too). The cup actually is quite a normal cup; it's just that the image is 90 degrees away from the handle. I figured that coffee drinkers would actually like to SEE their spiffy cups when holding them in their hands.
Ah, I see.
Wonderful. Any other questions, or may I now return to my FAQ?
Well actually, yes, here's another question. Those TwitterBudgies of yours are mighty cute! I want to get a budgie for my very own! Isn't this a spiffy idea?
EEEEK!!! No no no no no no no! Parakeets are NOT beginner birdies or disposable pets! My TwitterBudgies are so incredible because I allow them great freedom in my office and never shut them up in tiny birdieDungeons. Please refer to my Ultimate Parakeet Guide to learn more about the wonders of Budgies.
Parakeets were never meant to be utterly confined.
Okay, I'll nix the idea of buying a birdie on a whim. Can you instead tell me what led you to the creation of TwitterBudgie?
Certainly! It was a dark and stormy night, and ... oh heck, simply turn to our About Us page and enjoy. :-)
Have a great day!